Midwest Geek

My Out of Office message for Outlook.

After an appropriate period of deliberation, I have taken a short leave of absence, departing February 2nd and returning February 13.

As such, I have decided to become a professional pirate. It has always been a dream of mine to live the life of a swashbuckling corsair, beholden to none and master of all I survey. Once my crew of unabashed rogues is assembled, we shall take to the capacious expanse of the high seas to pursue fortune, fame, and hair-raising adventure. Hopefully this will require no more then the 10 days that I will be gone.

My path may not be filled with the porcine comforts and technological marvels that I am a custom to, but I shall nonetheless move forward to carve a name for myself in the annals of bold insurgency and death-defying derring-do. Once I have a keen blade at my hip and the Jolly Roger is flapping high above me, I believe I will find my true calling.

Please note that I am currently accepting applications for First Officer, if you are at all interested in applying. I will provide a full medical and dental plan, which will offer immediate coverage of all maladies other than scurvy and the occasional bout of rickets.

Should you need something that falls outside of brazen piracy, please contact the Department at 314-***-****

Thank You