Midwest Geek

I know I haven’t been posting much lately and you are about to see why. In addition, my timing is off in Boston and I can’t get it back.

Boston was my choice, I was able to choose from training sites all around the country, and I Boston was it for me. My original plan was to attend my training during the day and grab a game or two at Fenway. After signing up for the classes I learned that we have labs everynight and my only chance for a game would be on the last night that I am here, as that’s the only night that I don’t have labs. Perfect…it might only be one night, but I would be able to take in one game at Fenway to see the Sox play.

I was then told just prior to my trip that I should bring a much larger suitcase then I needed so that upon my return I could haul back all the books I would be given. Brushing off that advice, because I would only be in 6 days of training, how many books could I be getting…I tend to be a great packer and can generally just “make room”. 6 books consisting of 500 pages each is what I got. That’s Three thousand pages in Six days. In college I didn’t get this many text books in a semeter, let alone over one week. I was also told that class would go from 9 a.m to 5 p.m. and labs would be from 7 p.m. until 9 p.m. everyday with no lab on Saturday…at some point a vote was taken and we would go from 9 to 5, take a 30 minute break and continue with the lab. It’s worth noting that both the class and the labs never, ever, not once, end on time.

During this last week I have been up at 5, in class at 7:30 to make sure that I that I didn’t miss anything from the night before, and make sure that I am ready for the current day. During our one hour lunch break I make a call to my wife to say hello, grab a bite to eat, and study some more. After class lets out, anywhere between 8:30 and 10:00 p.m. I get to grab dinner, and study some more. Now that it’s day six, I have don’t think I am going to see that much of Boston, I have been a total of six blocks away from the hotel and most of the time it’s to hit the Dunkin Donuts one block over. The great majority of my meals have even taken place in either the Bar on the second floor or in my hotel room.

Now I don’t have to test on this stuff at all this week. And you may be asking yourself why one would do so much studing if one doesn’t have to take a test this week. It’s not because I have to test this week, or next week or even the week after, I actually have up to 3 months to test on this material. It’s the price of failure for the testing that I have to do. At some point I have to sit down and take 2, 200 question exams on the 3,000 pages of material I have went over this week. They are open book and a good portion of the material I already know. It’s the fact that if I fail a test, not both, but each one..I have to play $175 dollors out of my own pocket to retake the test. Just to note…I will have about 2 mitues to answer each question..finding the correct answer in the books within 2 minutes doesn’t make it that much open book. Should I fail 3 times over the course of the two exams, I have to play $400 to have the ability to even retake them. My company paid the $400 once for me to take them….and they only care if that I pass. Or in better terms…we paid, show us a cert that you passed or pay for the entire training.

Good thing I have no stress there.

When I am in Chicago, I always have bad luck…it’s just how things go. I understand that, I accept that, and I roll with the punches. When catching connecting flights in Dallas I am always arrive at the gate that is 76 miles from the the departare gate…and I generally have 11 minutes to get there…again I understand that, I accept that, and I roll with the punches. In Boston I have figured out that my timing is just off. I arrived Sunday at 3 p.m. and my bags arrived at 3 a.m. I packed shorts and t-shirts, the temp drops to 45 degrees and it rains all week. The last part has nothing to do with the fact that a certain weather channel told me it would be in the 70’s and SUNNY. ALL. WEEK. LONG.

While we are in a nice hotel, and have those “sleep number” beds. I have learned that my sleep number is “Hell”. I wish my number was closer to Rainbows and Unicorns, but these beds suck and suck hard. I have yet to get more then 4-5 hours of uninterrupted sleep at any one time the entire time I have been here. Fall asleep at 9, wake up at 1, fall asleep at midnight, wake up at 3. Again proof positive that my timing is just off.

All in all I am still happy. I got to meet a lot of people in my field and got to learn about some really amazing stuff. My work revolves around Information Security and it’s been wonderful to geek out this week. Informational Warfare Theory has been my favorite so far, and might just been my calling. It’s alot more interesting then it sounds and will be a topic of a future posting. At this moment I only have one hour to get cleaned up, grab a donut and get down 14 floors to my training room…sounds like a lot of time but…..

My Out of Office message for Outlook.

After an appropriate period of deliberation, I have taken a short leave of absence, departing February 2nd and returning February 13.

As such, I have decided to become a professional pirate. It has always been a dream of mine to live the life of a swashbuckling corsair, beholden to none and master of all I survey. Once my crew of unabashed rogues is assembled, we shall take to the capacious expanse of the high seas to pursue fortune, fame, and hair-raising adventure. Hopefully this will require no more then the 10 days that I will be gone.

My path may not be filled with the porcine comforts and technological marvels that I am a custom to, but I shall nonetheless move forward to carve a name for myself in the annals of bold insurgency and death-defying derring-do. Once I have a keen blade at my hip and the Jolly Roger is flapping high above me, I believe I will find my true calling.

Please note that I am currently accepting applications for First Officer, if you are at all interested in applying. I will provide a full medical and dental plan, which will offer immediate coverage of all maladies other than scurvy and the occasional bout of rickets.

Should you need something that falls outside of brazen piracy, please contact the Department at 314-***-****

Thank You