Midwest Geek

Work:
Sometimes it takes a second punch for the feeling to kick in, and realize that you are being hurt. I have decide that I am just going to find a nice little hole in life, do my job and stick to it…I am no longer interested in “moving up in the world”. I have seen the other side and it frankly it’s not worth it.

I see so many “successful” people who work these wonderful 80 hour weeks, never see their kids (or family for that matter), cheat on their spouses, talk about how much they love the kids they never see, then beat them down about why they weren’t in first place at little league t-ball or soccer…

I have seen the other side and I hope I am never that successful period.

Life:
I have seen how much I have changed over time, and it’s starting to really scare me. Two and one half examples.

1 1/2 examples
About a month ago my best friend Josh* called me out of the blue to let me know that he was in town for the night, and that we need to grab a beer. We found a decent table at a local pub and tossed back a few exchanging stories about the old days and catching up on each others lives. He stated that he didn’t know what I was doing these days, but he knew I was successful. He then, since he can read me like a book, told me how miserable I am. “Jason, you live to work, and I work to live, it’s about time you learn the difference”

It was like being hit with a baseball bat…I had never realized that I don’t have fun anymore… Years ago in High school I was the one who didn’t know the limits; I was the one who partied harder then everyone, with total disregard to anyone around me, and me especially. Josh was always there to pull me out of a potential fight, whether I was going to win or not…He was there to sober me up, and get me out of danger, generally created by me.

After the local pub, Josh wanted to see the dive bar that he ended up at after my wedding with the maid of honor and one of my groomsmen. And to no surprise, it was still a dive bar…a few drinks there at around midnight and I decided that I need to something a bit reminisced of the old days…So after a large with drawl from the ATM, we headed down to the strip bars.

While we had a good time, and it was a standard strip bar experience, there were two other guys that where being dicks to the women and who for some unknown reason Josh wanted to fight (Josh is normally very passive, and generally non-violent, unless it comes to protecting a woman, a child or just putting a serious jackass in their place)…Ten years ago, 1 second after stating that he wanted to fight, I would have walked up an taunted them in a very testosterone way. This time I simply keep Josh out of a fight, informing him that there I no way I can get out of Jail by the time I need to show up to work.

We left that evening being the complete opposites we were ten years ago. I made him a promise that Senz and I would come visit him and his wife in June, on our 8th anniversary. I have looked forward to that trip since the day that I made the promise.

2nd example

This one is short and two the point.

Saturday night, when Monk was working I was painting a faux-finish on our living room walls while watching “Under the Tuscan Sun” No man should ever do this…Well not men to like to be men…

I will explain how I am going to make these changes next post…I have to end my lunch hour

*Josh - He is my best friend, and I mean best.. This is a guy who would help you bury the body, would mortgage his home to give you the money no questions asked, and would be good enough to knock you on your ass, just when you need it and still drive you to the hospital.